Risking my life for the job

So I am employed by a certain “magical” themepark here in SoCal, and when I go to work, I have to park in a lot some distance away and then take a shuttle to the park.

I’ve been doing this for well over a year, and I’ve never really felt concerned for my own safety while riding the shuttle. Until recently.

It seems like until about a month ago, we’d had the same few drivers on a regular basis. I have no idea why most of them aren’t around now… maybe it was cheaper to hire terrible drivers? Whatever the case, now we have a new batch, and one of them is this older guy who drives like he’s in The Fast and the Furious.

He drives like I drive in my little car. Except he’s got a busload of people without seatbelts.

Tonight he was barreling toward an intersection so fast that he couldn’t stop when it switched to yellow and red, and half the bus was over the top crosswalk line.

It’s funny to watch my fellow passengers. They sort of whisper amongst themselves, and when we’re hurdling around corners, everyone’s grasping the handles, the seat in front of them, their neighbor, anything, just to stay in their seat.

And when I finally escaped from the shuttle tonight, stumbling down those steps onto solid ground, the driver thoughtfully told me, “Good night! Drive carefully!”

Ben is a true collector

I Hate Spiders

I can’t believe my boyfriend wants a pet tarantula. I love animals and all (no really– I volunteer at a zoo), but there is absolutely NO WAY. I’ve spent my entire life trying to get spiders OUT of my place of residence, and I’m certainly not going to invite one to live with me!

He seems to think that he’s going to put one on his shoulder and go about his business with his little spider buddy. I have to say, not only is that absurd, but if the thing happened to be removed from its “habitat”, I’d immediately leave mine. Kind of a dealbreaker.

See, spiders in their natural habitats don’t typically bother me. The issue is when they invade MY space.

Growing up, I had to deal a lot with that, and I’ve never really gotten used to it.

And of all the places in my parents’ house for spiders to frequent, the shower was for some reason the favorite hangout. Which is of course very inconvenient, since a person in the shower is very naked and vulnerable. The only thing worse than a spider landing on you is for a spider to land on you when you’re in the nude.

It’s kind of a tough situation.

If the spider is higher up on the wall, especially in the corner where the walls and ceiling meet, and if Dad isn’t available to nab it, you have to just go about your business, trying not to think about the pesky arachnid who’s sneaking a peek.

But you’re not going to forget about it. You’re going to look upwards every 15-20 seconds to make sure it hasn’t moved. The last thing you want is a surprise attack.

Now, if the spider is down in the tub, you’ve got to take care of it, because there’s no way you’re going to have some eight-legged creeper washing all over your feet or trying to climb up your leg to safety.

One of my worst spider encounters occurred in one of these situations. I did what I usually do… I tried running the shower so he’d wash down the drain. (Note: If you’re going to use this method, keep the water running for a minute or two after he goes down, because they tend to crawl back up if you don’t).

But in this particular instance, the spider wouldn’t wash down. The water was hitting the drain area, and probably due to a large amount of hair clog-age, bouncing right back. Turning the water off only led to the spider stopping halfway to the drain.

But it looked pretty dead anyway, so I grabbed the biggest wad of TP I could (I require a one- to two-inch barrier between the spider and myself). I bent down to pick it up, the trash can at the ready, but just as soon as I grabbed it, it made a miraculous recovery and scampered right up my arm! I screamed, brushing it off, and then squished it angrily. I made sure it was completely dead this time and then put it in the trash.

If there’s such a thing as karma, then someday a spider will accidentally get into some radioactive material and be blown up to some fifty-foot monster. And then it will hunt me down and squish me.